I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
