So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
