You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
