I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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