i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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