I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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