why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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