And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We have started to decorate penises.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
