He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
