I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
