I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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