i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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