so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
