3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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