She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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