You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
