Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
