So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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