PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
