Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
