Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Life without a bra equals bliss.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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