My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
