So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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