i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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