He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pants are for mortals
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
