After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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