Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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