I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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