It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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