went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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