This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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