We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
