We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
