I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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