She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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