oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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