Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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