When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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