Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
