Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
