I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
