never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
