I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize