ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
