I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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