Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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