Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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