I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All I want is dick and wine.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
