I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
