3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
