this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize