I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
