I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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