I must be too annoying 4 u.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
