imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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