Christians are straight up FREAKS
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
