To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
