I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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