I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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