I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
