and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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